FORMING HABITS: STAGE 1 – PDP
We are creatures of habit. Forming, starting and maintaining proactive habits, however, is incredibly hard. To succeed you need to firstly understand the two stages and learn to celebrate failing!
STAGE 1: PDP
This stage is about setting up your habit and getting the habit started
- Set your goals
- Get motivated:
- Understand what it would mean to fail.
- Understand what it will mean to succeed.
- Stick with your Habit
Introducing Mark Desvaux’s FAF Model: “Failure as Feedback”
- Most people try a habit and usually fail within a few days. What happens next? They give up. Firstly, I am giving you permission to go easy on yourself. We have to learn to celebrate failure – it means we are trying.
JK Rowling said:
“You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
- Remember, forming a habit is hard. Failing is a very important part of the process. Why? It shows you what you need to tweak and change. You learn something every time you fail. Instead of feeling down or beating yourself up, or worse, labelling yourself as a “failure”, see it as a gift. You are about to find out what didn’t work, change it and then see it work!
- Get curious. Become intrigued. Ask yourself: “What happened?”
- Now change one thing that would have helped you succeed and try again.
Think of the first stage of habit-forming as your practise stage. You are trying out your new habit, so know that you are likely to fail initially at making it happen every single day.
Think of it like this… If you want to learn to ski, the only way to learn is try it. If you put a pair of skis on for the first time and someone pushes you down the slope, what is going to happen? You are likely to wipe out! It might even hurt. You might look ridiculous, and you might hurt your pride if other people see you.
What do you? Do you take your skis off, give up and leave the mountain? Or do you dust yourself off and try again? You will probably still fall, and continue to fall, but falling happens less and less. Within a very short time you are whizzing down the black runs, showing off your silky moves, and the best bit, maybe teaching someone else how to ski!
Can you do it? Of course you can! Why? Because you have already done it many times in your life. For example, the first time you learned to walk and fell, did you give up?
Giving yourself permission to fail early on is very important.