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    Chris Lowenstein

    Member
    October 21, 2020 at 5:59 am

    Matt, thank you so much for this valuable and specific feedback. I agree with many of the things you pointed out. That long sentence should definitely be simplified and/or broken up. I also agree that there’s a bit of discontinuity with the “treasure all around her” part. I think it comes from the fact that I combined two story ideas — one a thriller with a sense of humor and the other a more sentimental, serious story. I definitely need to find the right tone for this particular story. As for book collecting being high stakes, it certainly can be and that is something that is easier explained within the story, but I will play around with this blurb and see if I can give a better hint at what I mean.

    You have sound advice and would make a great editor! Thanks again for taking the time to read my blurb.

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