MemberOctober 5, 2020 at 8:53 pm
So, I hate to do this to you, but I have to (friendly and respectfully!) disagree with Jan. I love the first sentence. I think it adds a level of intrigue and makes an important promise that we’d miss without it. It promises that this ordinary world is about to change, and that propels us through the telling of the ordinary world because we’ve been promised there’ll be a pay-off.
Do we need all the getting ready, reheating porridge, going to work stuff? You know better than me, Kell, so this is a genuine question. I wonder if we can jump in later so we don’t have to go through as much of the everyday-ness. But without the rest of the text for context, I don’t know if it serves a purpose, so of course, you’re the best judge.
I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of normalness and weird-worldiness! The familiar tube ride and the unicorn issue! Very fun. I imagine this’ll be great!