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    Barb Reimer

    September 29, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    Hi Nicole, nice premise. New for me. A few things would help it be more clear. “Mac” isn’t defined as a nickname for Declan. I wasn’t sure it was until i reread his last name. Where is Louisberg – US? Canada? (Cause I think there is one in both countries) That might help amp up the game. Does the dud missile do damage – it is implied, but not clear and perhaps needs to be defined for scope of damage. And what possibility can’t Mac ignore?

    Those would tighten up the blurb for me a lot.

    Keep it up!