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    Darren Bodey

    Member
    September 23, 2020 at 12:38 pm

    Hi Kell,

    Love the premise! I think you need to play around with the order, I found it the first line a little confusing. Rather than put my head on the chopping block and doing my own I’ve had a bit of a go with yours. I don’t know if that is bad etiquette but I find fresh eyes on my stuff helpful. Here is my attempt – “<font face=”inherit”>A repressed office worker is infused with the powers of a monster hunter, and must go on the run. Others want these powers for themselves, and the only way she can stay alive is to seek help from the monsters </font>she’s expected<font face=”inherit”> to kill.” Just tweaking </font>order and experimenting with different words for best effect I think – the crux is clear as you have it. All the best

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