Home › Forums › Blurbs › Beta Blurb for “Watcher’s Cycle” (or whatever it’s going to be called) › Reply To: Beta Blurb for “Watcher’s Cycle” (or whatever it’s going to be called)
MemberSeptember 16, 2020 at 4:02 am
You could well be right about the genre.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but you can click out of the reply box and it’ll disappear. Then when you click reply again you won’t have lost what you’ve written. Not ideal, but not too bad.
Now I’ve seen a bit more it’s a great premise for the story. I love the fact the humans were watching, unbeknownst to the inhabitants.
When I read the bit about the humans/watchers/downfall of the religion etc I was immediately interested. I know you included this in the original but I think mentioning that the humans are watching is great. For me it was a hook and also suggested more sci-fi than fantasy.
Then I was more interested to see what was going on afterward.
All these characters are drawn into ZR’s campaign (in very different ways) to reclaim their religion. I personally think that’s enough to hang them altogether on in a sentence or too.
I’m sure many people can cope with all the names but I have to really concentrate with all the place names and character names. Where possible I’d personally drop some from the blurb i.e. Instead of Gion, just a Runner, instead of Desht, and innocent vector.
That said, if you can write something this epic I think the story and the blurb is in very capable hands. To victory.