- MemberSeptember 7, 2020 at 6:53 pm
It’s great that you focus on the character – Im really clear that this story is about Barbara – I always look for the character – who’s the story about?
At the three paras are really clear too – intro Barbara, her problem Uncle throwing her into his invention, what she has to do – survive and fine her Mum. I think it just needs streamlining a bit.
I like the last line too.
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