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    Darren Bodey

    Member
    September 4, 2020 at 11:37 am

    Hi Adam,

    Sounds like a great premise and on the whole I like the blurb. I will also say that I am no blurb expert, but will give you my thoughts (I also haven’t done the course yet). I think you have overused the “this is the real world” and “this is not a story”. I’d prefer “Most of it is out to kill her” to be “It is out to kill her”. Seems a bit punchier, though that may not suit your book. The phrase “when her uncle threw her into one of his inventions” jarred me a little. Because I don’t know what the invention is I thought it sounded odd that she could be thrown into it, even though it of course is probably right! I think just a bit tighter and snappier and it sounds epic. Personally I would not mention string theory in the blurb. All the best and congrats on posting the first blurb. Cheers, Darren

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