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    Adam Jarvis

    Member
    November 2, 2020 at 12:54 am

    Amelie, I agree with Darren on this – if your story is primarily about Joni, your blurb should start with Joni. Like Darren has given a go at, the details of the Vestrits need to be sprinkled through the paragraph about Joni and her family, and the ethical dilemma she faces.

    You might also consider how much you want to tell us about the history of the Vestrits and the bit about the keepers worried about making a decision and things going wrong. These might be things to save for the book. The hook of Joni’s decision – take a life to save another – is strong enough, and it makes it even more intriguing if you leave some mystery about the life on the line.

    And then, a place you might want to elaborate a little is about the difficulties that Joni faces, the things she finds out. What kinds of things does she find out? Are they related to the Vestrits, to other magical creatures? Do they become physical dilemmas (ie. someone trying to stop her or steal what she has) or further moral dilemmas? A little more detail would really help us understand the kind of plot this book will have outside of Joni’s main moral dilemma.

    Sounds like an excellent story!

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