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Version 2:
Nothing’s going Jack’s way. Taking on a house breaking job for gang boss Septimus Brand seems like a good way to make money until the loot goes missing between drop off and pick up and he gets the blame. Jack suspects a set-up, but Brand wants him dead. There’s only one way to stay alive and that’s to find the real culprit.
I’m consciously trying to keep it short but it feels a bit bland. Is it enough? Help?