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- MemberSeptember 24, 2020 at 4:37 am
I’m getting tripped up by the use of hard-won and gifts to describe her powers. Hard-won implies earned, whereas gifts describes born with or granted. Do you maybe mean how she has taken that gift she was born with and become accomplished and skillful with it?
Also, the last sentence makes it seem like her self-doubt is the biggest threat to everything which doesn’t entirely feel like high fantasy. Maybe add the villain vaguely at the end? I was debating leaving in ‘Elanraigh and ‘Gift of Knowing’, and thought maybe it would be better to leave that non-specific. I changed it up a bit. Maybe this helps?
A young noblewoman fears her magic and integrity may have been corrupted by a malignancy lurking in the caverns beneath the sentient forest she protects. Now she must face those who would exploit her doubt and manipulate her gifts in order to protect the forest she loves.