MemberSeptember 21, 2020 at 5:01 am
This is fascinating! I love the idea! It’s not a genre I usually read in but I still find it compelling. Nicely done!
I’d love to have a greater sense of danger and urgency: what’s so bad about the Goblin? Why is it so important she brings an end to it?
And the use of the word “feed” in the last line confuses me. I see it’s in the title, too. Maybe you could allude to the feeding angle elsewhere, so it doesn’t come so out of the blue? Or maybe you don’t even need to use the word feed if you’re trying to make it a surprise. You could talk about how she needs to figure out how to control the dress’s power (if that’s what it is!).
These are really minor points, though. It sounds like you’re onto something truly fascinating!