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    Jan Carr

    September 18, 2020 at 8:26 am

    Hi Adam

    First line thoughts before I read the page…

    <font face=”inherit”>Staring is very passive. Can you do something in the first line that hints at Barbara’s character or where she’s at emotionally? If the ribbons were a last gift from her Mum, maybe Barbara smells </font>them? Runs<font face=”inherit”> them through her fingers? Maybe </font>she<font face=”inherit”> feels the smoothness of the satin with her thumb or </font>carefully<font face=”inherit”> trims the frayed edge and puts them away then uses an old </font>elastic band to tie her hair – to show how precious they are?