Home › Forums › Blurbs › Beta Blurb – The Trials of Walter Hall › Reply To: Beta Blurb – The Trials of Walter Hall
Hey Darren!
So cool! You clearly have the whole atmospheric thing down! And the story sounds very dramatic!
Maybe this is because I’m British, but when I read the second line, I thought “Walter Hall” was the name of a physical hall, like a school gymnasium or a church meeting area. So then, when I read “he” in the next line, I was wondering who the he was. If your audience is just American then maybe this isn’t issue, but I imagine a few extra words could clarify this. For example, “Death and pain plague the broken Walter Hall, a boy who [description].”
This sounds like it’ll have lots of fun stuff in it!