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Home Forums Blurbs Beta Blurb for “Watcher’s Cycle” (or whatever it’s going to be called) Reply To: Beta Blurb for “Watcher’s Cycle” (or whatever it’s going to be called)

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    Brian Liew [YA-SF-GrimDark]

    September 14, 2020 at 10:10 am

    Thanks, for your brief reply, Adam Stuck Out Tongue Winking Eye

    I agree with the re-arrangement of the stories, that is one of those things that is so obvious in retrospect. I clarified Nemzet’s story without breaking it (I hope).

    Also, in the original blurb, three of the stories start with the protagonist’s name, and one (Kes of Jossis) has it embedded later. Since I think this one is the most polished, I’ve changed the others so it doesn’t seem so odd.

    You have attempted to surmise my story from the blurb as it was, the fact that you got it wrong isn’t an issue, right? The blurb needs to entice and not lie, that is all, right?

    The rest of your advice is also good. My problem is that I think the mention of ZR is already a bit of a spoiler. That is the thing that Gion slowly uncovers and the thing that Nemzet doesn’t quite work out (in the book). So I’m not sure if I’m giving too much away already. Adding more of this to bind the stories together will give more away. So… if there is to be mention in the blurb of thread that binds, then I think I need to make it a different thread, or the same thread but more obtusely presented…

    I haven’t worked out how to do that, though. I will post my new blurb in response to my original.