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    Adam Jarvis

    Member
    September 10, 2020 at 3:54 pm

    Laura, looks great! And very succinct, not too long at all. 🙂

    Is it possible to name the town, rather than just the West of Ireland? You could say the Western Irish town of ____ to keep the country reference, but naming a town suggests something more personal and more local, and, if I recall from your blurb, this is her hometown.

    (You could also drop the word “back” and add “hometown” as that creates another personal connection for Eve.)

    Also from your blurb, it sounds as though the killer might be one of the six remaining childhood friends who share the secret Eve is trying to protect. If this is the case, it would be a good hook to add “and to find a killer among friends” (or some such thing) to suggest a stronger connecting to Eve and add a layer of deception.

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