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    Darren Bodey

    Member
    September 7, 2020 at 6:38 pm

    Hi Kell,

    I really love this blurb. I don’t have a great deal to offer because I do think it’s really well put together and makes me want to read it. The only thing that didn’t do it for me was the last bit “…, who can Rako bring herself to trust?” At the least I think “who can Rako trust?” is more direct. It may be a big dilemma? (although it doesn’t sound like she would trust the authorities “in a world where she can’t trust the authorities” and “everyone is trying to kill her”.

    But I think it needs something else that suggests a bit more action/dynamism on her part. What that is, I do not know. Does she just pick someone to trust and things work out that way (like is suggested in the blurb), or does she do something else you can elude to? i.e. sacrifice, change. Not sure. But again, otherwise, it’s great.

    All the best,


    Darren

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