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Excellent Mike, great suggestions. The blurb course has us combine three blurbs into one by picking the best parts – the lists all sounded great in their own blurbs, but re-reading it I definitely see the list fatigue creeping in.
Overall, though, everyone agrees this needs to be snappier, and looking further into the genre I’m seeing shorter blurbs are generally the rule (figures the first three I look at are longer).
Anyway, thanks again everyone for all the advice and suggestions. Onward to version 2…